Riddle me this, confuse me that

Found on Blunt Edges' blog.
So Thanks. :)

I've been thinking a lot. Well, probably no more than usual since I tend to think a lot regularly. BUT I've been thinking a lot about my personal life. Now I don't wanna be bitching and moaning about this, but I'm confused. Ir seems that I have an inability to be happy and finally find someone whom not only do I love, but who loves me back happily. Why does it seem so hard to find someone to meet those standards? It's not like I have some impossible to meet standard, right? I'm attractive. I'm strong. I'm intelligent. So.. where do I falter? Did I mention I have a VERY active libido? I don't know... I'm just confused. I have a handful of males I seem to find worth my energy... and somehow I always pick the one that's worst for me. Well... sometimes. Lately. OR they're long distance relationships, which is another thing I'm dreading. 


So Fine. Let's say I found someone who seems to be liking me back, who's nice, smart, kind.... and across the country. Again. No freaking way. I decided a long time ago that my heart isn't calling the shots anymore and I can't let it. It calls all the shots that shatter it. Not like I enjoy being broken hearted, I don't. But at what point does fear get replaced with courage? When you're sick of being miserable? When you hate your life? When you see no light anymore? When?